On Respect Within Our Fellowship: An Essay
"Give to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself."
Over the past handful of weeks, I think it would be safe to say that there has been an observable increase in tensions in the way we have been addressing one another on the guild and faith minds, and in our own private interactions with one another on occasion. I want to make it clear that not a single one of us is perfect, and no one expects perfection: we make mistakes every single day that we wake, and rather than feeling shame and hopelessness in the wake of our errors, we must recognize the great Light that exists within the opportunity to rectify and rise above said mistakes. So from this point forward, learn from the mistakes you made yesterday, last week, last year, a decade ago - and then move on. It's okay. You are no less a child of the Light for your mistakes.
That said, I think that each of us could use a reminder on the nature of respect, and the role that it plays within our tenets, our flock, and our very lives. Please read this essay with the understanding that it is not intended to scold, but rather, with the knowledge that this essay and others like it are a tool to re-examine ourselves, and to clearly delineate the Illuminated Path upon which we have chosen to walk.
We give ourselves fully to the Lady, and this means, in turn, giving ourselves to Her creeds and doctrines: to the tenets. One might argue that respect is the unwritten fifth tenet, but I would counter that we need only the four we have, for respect is writ in each and every one.
It is easy to see where respect lies within the tenet of Love. In order to express Love properly in all of its forms, be it eros - romantic, philia - amicable, storge - familial, agape - universal, or pragma - duty, one must first be capable of showing respect to the object of their affection. For would we marry a spouse if we did not respect them, or maintain a friend if they did not respect us? Could we truly follow a leader and give them our Love and devotion if they had not earned our respect, and given us theirs? Respect is a quintessential part of both showing Love and receiving it.
Again, tying respect to Honor and vice versa becomes a simple task, for respect seems a concept woven into the very fabric of what Honor is. When we display qualities that are Honorable - loyalty, honesty, and walking "firm knowing justice and freedom in the good marked path" - we are also displaying qualities that beget respect from our peers. If you want respect from others, then it is only logical that you would comport yourself Honorably. And, by that same token, when you fail to respect a guildmate, a faithmate, a citizen, a friend or even a stranger, you are not only being disrespectful, but you are lacking in the very tenet of Honor.
The tenet of Wisdom calls us to see clearly, above all else. But equally as important, it encourages us to recognize those places within ourselves and within others where darkness lies, encouraging us to "see the hidden grasp of darkness, and behold its gnarled touch shall be driven from you." The moment that you fail to let Wisdom guide your words and actions - and similarly, the moment you engage in disrespecting another denizen of this world - is the moment that you have forgotten this brilliant tenet. Respect and Wisdom are wards against darkness, so use them in tandem as they are meant to be used, and drive from your own words and actions any note or trace of malice.
And last, but never least, Vigilance is the tenet that lights within us a fire to cast away all shadow, for we must hold "courage and valor in [our] hearts to shield [ourselves] and others from the darkness that seeks to destroy." Please understand fully that while a snide comment here or a passing insult there may seem insignificant, when you utter them, you are planting the seeds of darkness in your own heart, and it is likely that you have cast a shadow on someone else, in turn. We are here to spread the Light, not the shadow, so do not allow yourself to become a vehicle for the darkness by allowing bitterness, anger, jealousy or apathy to color your words. You are more than just the emotion you feel in any given moment.
Respect is tied inextricably to each tenet, but it begs the question: why, precisely, do we need to practice it in our dealings with one another? The answer is two-fold, beyond the simple fact that we have each chosen to follow and respect both the letter and spirit of Waylumi's tenets.
First, let us refer to an age old adage: "When we treat people merely as they are, they will remain as they are. When we treat them as if they were what they should be, they will become what they should be." When you give respect to a person, whether their actions merit it or not, you're actually giving them a gift. This gift is what opens the door for growth and improvement on their part in the future, and this is what being a follower of Waylumi is all about - it is our godgiven duty to show other people the potential Light within themselves, and what better way to do this than to show them what they could be?
We have a job, each of us, far more important than any single goal we might pursue. Our job is to illuminate the world, and we cannot do so alone - so respect is the glue that holds us together in this endeavor. Respect the glue, love the glue, be the glue.
This second point is paramount, so remember it in your very bones if you must: you aren't here to serve yourself. You're here to serve others. You are here to serve the cleric alongside you, the devout who guards your back, and most importantly, you are here to serve the Bright Lady. As soon as you engage in disrespecting any of these former individuals, be it guild or faithmate, this is the moment you have begun to disrespect Waylumi.
A lack of respect is nothing, if not selfish. It is driven by negative feelings towards another person predicated on your own displeasure with something they have done or something they have said. As much as it may seem about them - their perceived failures or mistakes - we've actually made it about ourselves when we show them a lack of respect. Being a cleric or even a devout of Waylumi isn't an inherent right: anyone may follow Her, but to serve formally is a privilege that you must earn each and every day.
This essay would be sorely lacking if it only offered only the extrapolations and observations of the author, without providing some more productive suggestions! Respect isn't something that we're all perfect at without practice or without great effort. But oftentimes, the best things in life are the ones we must work and strive for. The main issues that I have noticed seem to occur the heat of the moment - disrespect driven by strong feelings. So in the future, when such a heated moment has arrived and you are in the midst of the flames of emotion, so to speak, ask yourselves the following questions before opening your mouth:
Is what I'm about to say or do KIND? Is it MERCIFUL, and GENEROUS?
Is what I am about to say or do within the realms of Waylumi's tenets? Would I say it if Waylumi was standing right beside me, listening in?
Is what I'm about to say or do PRODUCTIVE? Examine the "why" behind what you are saying, and a lot of times you'll recognize your own negativity is a motivator that adds fuel to a flame that needs no stoking.
Even jokes can have some edge, so be wary of humour intended to cut. What kind of joke is mine?
Is what I am about to say or do something I will want to say or do when my emotions have cooled and a little time has passed?
I hope this essay has been helpful, for I know it has been a blessing to write and to be able to organize my thoughts on this topic into something I might share with the faith. Please note that it's genuinely not directed at anyone in particular, but rather, it was written in response to my general observations of all of us, myself included. At the end of the day, while all of these are valuable lessons, though, just remember one thing: whether we agree or disagree, whether we get along every second of every day or not, we're all here for the same purpose. We oftentimes have different ways of reaching this goal, but the goal is always the same, and we are always brothers and sisters who are doing our very best to live within the Light.
Bless you, and thank you for reading. Be good to one another.
Seraphine Dhamarov
High Priestess