The Art of Anger

 

One warm spring day, snake was slithering through the grass and minding his own business. He was enjoying the slowly warming weather as the world around him began to thaw and, in the wake of snow and ice, wildflowers and vibrant green leaves had begun to colour the lands once more. Snake paused by a little bunch of lilacs, his tongue darting out to taste the air around them. His tail quivered with delight and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to enjoy the heady scent.

 

While snake's eyes were closed, however, a most unfortunate neighbor had come to enjoy that same bunch of flowers: porcupine waddled over to give the lilacs a hearty sniff and, when he leaned forward, he accidentally poked snake... right in the nose!

 

'Watch where you're going," snake yelled at the porcupine, coiling in upon himself in pain, a sudden rage seizing his sinuous body and drawing a low hiss from him. Porcupine tried to apologize, in his own clumsy fashion - for he had meant nothing by it - but snake was too enraged, and the apologies fell on deaf ears. Snake reared up, standing nearly a foot taller than porcupine and in a single lightning-fast motion, pain still making his nose sting and his eyes water, he struck at the other creature...

 

And speared himself, most unfortunately, on Porcupine's back. Needle sharp, the quills poked a plethora of holes right through his scales as though he were a pin cushion, and Snake was no more - for his wrath had betrayed him to an untimely demise. Porcupine smelled the flowers once more, and then ambled off in his slow, clumsy manner.

 

Not the happiest of endings, but it seems, perhaps, that this is the point. I want to talk to all of you today about the spectrum from anger to wrath, and the thing I want to convey most of all is the seriousness with which such things should be treated. It's easy to joke that someone has a hot temper, or they're quick to ignite, but it becomes far less funny when we step back to look at the legitimate repercussions of wrathful behavior. But before we delve into wrath, perhaps it's better to address anger, because there is a marked difference and a lot of miles between the two.

 

First and foremost, I want to emphasize something that might surprise you coming from a cleric of Waylumi. We spend vast sums of time discussing creeds based on things love mercy and compassion, and oftentimes it seems like there is little room here for negative emotions. I'd like to shatter this myth, however: anger is a real, honest and acceptable emotion. There's nothing wrong with you for experiencing it and, in many ways, anger (and negative emotions like it) can actually be vastly valuable.

 

Anger deserves our appreciation, and our acknowledgement. We frequently try to set it aside, bury it, or sweep it under the rug because it is associated with such unpleasantness that we'd rather not feel it at all - but anger is designed to produce action in response to the violation of social norms or to remedy situations that are wrong. Anger alerts you to circumstances that are unjust, and tells you that you're having a reaction to something that should not be as it is. Oftentimes, anger is conceptualized as a disruptive emotional force, but it is meant to be an adaptive internal signal that cues self-protective or externally protective action. In reality, anger is a good emotion that sometimes is misunderstood or irrationally misused.

 

Consider the parable of Snake and Porcupine: when Snake got hurt, his first reaction was anger. Instead of condemning him for feeling it, let us recognize how true it rings that his anger let him know that something was wrong. His alarm system was working in full. The difference between anger and wrath, the key here, lies within -how- Snake chose to address his anger.

 

The interesting difference here is that wrath involves action - usually action with an energy or direction of violence, vengeance or punishment, whereas anger is simply emotion. Whether the emotion is harmful or productive depends on what we do with it. Anger is a mortal emotion. Wrath is a choice. If we choose to let anger fester, to let it guide us mindlessly or ragefully, wrath is born and all it leaves in its wake is ruin - just as it led Snake to a very unhappy ending.

 

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Like Snake, if we hold onto our anger once it has done its duty, we are hurting no one but ourselves, getting back at no one but ourselves. Instead of taking control of the situation, you place in another person's hands a decided power over you, your emotions, and even perhaps your actions. Do not give anyone such control, for this should and must always belong to you.

 

Now that we recognize the difference between anger and wrath, I think that it becomes worth discussing how we can effectively manage anger so that we never reach that point where we're ready to throw ourselves on an enemy's sword - or a porcupine's quills! Anybody can experience anger. It’s as normal as it is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. This is where Waylumi's tenets come in handy. Whether these are doctrines you hold to religiously or not, I believe that they may be of great value to you, and I hope that in sharing them, perhaps they may someday save you from yourself.

 

Vigilance calls Waylumi's followers to be ever-watchful, looking for any darkness where it may hide. One very important aspect of this tenet emphasizes that this watchful search must occur externally, but also internally: 'both within and without.' If you exercise this watchfulness in regards to yourself, you should be able to quite effectively identify when you're experiencing any one of these many 'alarm' emotions. If you're feeling the green little tinge of envy or jealousy, the ache in your belly from greed, the fire in your heart from anger, the twitch of pride - don't ignore them. Be Vigilant enough to recognize them, and to consider what they may mean.

 

A large component within the tenet of Honor is truth. Truth isn't always an easy pill to swallow; sometimes it's bitter, and sometimes we wish that it was not ours to swallow, but Honor means that we do so all the same. Applying Honor to a reflection on your emotions can oftentimes reveal something you've been hiding both from the world and perhaps even from yourself. Negative feelings aren't always about another person, even if they may feel that way on the surface.

 

For example... this is vaguely embarrassing to discuss, but I would be remiss if I asked each of you to self examine and was unable to do so myself. The other day, I experienced something quite new: jealousy. I mean toe-curling, fist-clenching jealousy. It took me a few hours, and a lot of prayer, to understand that what I was feeling - a really unattractive trait, in fact - had nothing to do with the persons involved in eliciting the emotion. Instead, it had a lot more to do with how insecure I was feeling about myself. That wasn't easy to acknowledge or swallow, because I try very hard to present myself as a confident woman, but the truth is that I can't always be. And in the moments when I'm not, I need to display Honor is recognizing the 'why' behind what I feel. If I can manage this, I know you can, too.

 

Wisdom is another invaluable tool here, because it is the next logical step after Vigilantly and Honorably identifying your negative emotion. Wisdom calls the Lady's followers to 'discern with keen eyes and an open heart the truth of all things illuminated,' and this applies not just to the world around you, but to what is going on within you. Wisdom is the measure for how we actively handle the emotions in question - we have answered the why, and now we must know what to do with this knowledge. Wisdom calls us to 'show compassion where compassion must reign, but know true when the time has come to fight.' In the case of anger, if someone is seeking to cause direct and malicious harm to you or yours: fight. Do not be afraid of righteous anger because righteous anger has its place, but take the proper precautions to ensure that it is not something else wearing the guise of service, protection or self-defense.

 

Love is perhaps the most difficult answer here, but also one paramount in felling wrath. It is both the simplest answer, and the one that will challenge each of us beyond belief, because what Love calls for is forgiveness. Forgiveness can be difficult to rationalize because we equate forgiving a person with telling that what they have done to cause us harm or hurt is okay - but this is a fallacy, a misunderstanding of the true nature of forgiveness. When we forgive someone, we are not condoning what they have done in any way, shape or form. Instead, forgiveness is the art of accepting that it happened, accepting the emotions it caused, and then moving forward. Forgiveness is choosing peace for yourself.

 

I'd like to end with a saying that comes from some of the oldest tribes the southlands have known: two wolves live within us, and day in and day out, they wage war against one another in an eternal fight. One wolf is darkness; he is wrath, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, pride, greed, self-pity, resentment and guilt. He is hatred. The other wolf is goodness beyond compare: he is joy, and peace and love. He is hope and humility, kindness and empathy, generosity, compassion, and faith. And the wolf who wins? This is up to you - the wolf who wins is simply the wolf you feed.